Spirituality as an Act of Healing

When I was a junior in college, I studied abroad in Italy. Before I left for my program, I knew that my grandfather would most likely pass away from stage 4 lung cancer, and I wouldn’t be able to come home for the funeral. My Pop and I were incredibly close. I believe we were in a past life together. I always knew when something shifted in his health before anyone told me. I’d get a feeling in my gut. One night, before I was headed to a weekend trip with my theatre program, I called my grandfather. I had a feeling, this might be the last time we spoke. On the phone he kept laughing, “I’ll be on a plane to see you tomorrow! It’ll just be 8 hours.”

Nearly 8 hours later, I had a dream, and in this dream I was sitting alone in an acting studio in the middle of winter. The door blew open and my grandfather appeared at the door, and it was blizzarding outside. I could feel the gust of cold air. In my dream he said, “I know I said I’d see you tomorrow, but I’m not going to be here anymore. I came to say goodbye.” We held hands as we walked through the snow and said goodbye. I woke up that morning to find my grandfather was in a coma. The next night he passed. Some might say that dream was a coincidence, or my subconscious playing out my feelings of grief. But, I believe we met each other in a different dimension that night. Maybe it was our spirits connecting. Maybe it was some place where you go when you’re dreaming. But I know we said goodbye, and that brings me great comfort. It opened up space to believe that there is something beyond this plane, this planet, that is sacred and divine, and full of possibilities.

The role of spirituality in one’s mental health journey can be a powerful healing balm. For others it feels terrifying, as so many people I see in my practice have been deeply wounded by organized religion. But you can have a spiritual practice inside of, or outside of religion. And it can be powerful to reclaim a relationship to G-d, or a Higher Power that isn’t dogmatic or morally based. For some, it is the idea of being held by something greater (the Universe, the waves of the ocean, breath) that feels deeply comforting, so that we don’t feel we have to shoulder the burdens of life on our own. For some, meditation brings great clarity, and peace. A sense of oneness and belonging. Many people who are religious find spiritual practice through prayer, mantras, mudras, or teachings as a way to connect to the Divine, or connect to ancestral wisdom. Others find spirituality in standing barefoot in the wet grass and letting nature’s beauty wash over them.

Whether you already have an established spiritual practice, or desire to integrate spirituality into your life, a therapist can help you discover what that looks like for you. There are also therapists that weave spiritual practices such as tarot, reiki, ritual, and somatics into the therapeutic process. I will leave you with one of my favorite poems by Mary Oliver that sometimes I read as a form of spiritual practice, as it helps me to connect to my sense of belonging.

You do not have to be good.

You do not have to walk on your knees

For a hundred miles through the desert repenting.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body

Love what it loves.

Tell me about despair, yours, and i will tell you mine.

Meanwhile, the world goes on.

Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain

Are moving across the landscapes,

Over the prairies and the deep trees,

The mountains and the rivers.

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air

Are heading home again.

Whoever you are no matter how lonely

The world offers itself to your imagination,

Calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting

Over and over announcing your place

In the family of things.

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Cultivating Spirituality After Experiencing Religious Harm